Can yelling at a child be harmful is one of the leading concern these days. Before women had a baby, they were gentle and pleasant, and once they had a baby, the mothers began to yell and get angry. Many people don’t understand, why are mothers so grumpy? Faced with such questions, the mothers can only shout: “Try giving birth to a baby!”
Indeed, after having a baby, a blockbuster movie will be staged every day in the family. Faced with the various demonizations of bears and children, without screaming, it is estimated that the mothers’ lungs should explode! Roar is a very effective way. By throwing harshness at the child, mothers can somehow release stress.
But do you know? The more you yell at your child, he may become dumb and his character will deteriorate!
Can yelling at a child be harmful? What’s the effect?
Martin A. Teicher, associate professor of psychiatry at McLean Hospital, the top psychiatric hospital affiliated to Harvard Medical School in the United States, is an expert in this field. For more than ten years, his team has conducted a lot of research on the long-term damage of parents’ verbal attacks.
The verbal violence of parents includes long-term yelling, reprimanding, cursing, blaming, insulting, threatening, demeaning, and making fun of their children. His team found that if parents often abuse their children with words, their afterthought will not eliminate the effect. Even if parents compensate their children with warmth and affection afterward, the harm they caused to their children will still not disappear.
Only those who can manage their emotions well can become good parents. Then how to do it?
Don’t let children become the “trash can” of bad emotions
In fact, parents can easily make mistakes. The baby is always on the verge of being beaten, and if the adult is in a bad mood, the “bang” erupts. You may have heard of the famous “kick cat effect” in psychology. A father was criticized by his boss at the company. When he got home, he scolded the child who was jumping around on the sofa. But the child became angry and kicked the rolling cat beside him.
If this is the case, parents must first adjust their emotions and don’t take advantage of the problem to put the fire on the child.
Give yourself a buffer period
For example, set a rule for yourself that no matter how angry you are, you will not attack immediately. Even if it happens unintentionally, you must stop immediately, tell yourself to wait for half an hour, and wait until half an hour later.
During this half an hour, you must do something else. Anything that makes you feel better can be done, such as browsing the web, playing games, eating, walking outside, taking a shower, or giving a friend a phone call. Do not do anything that may provoke your temper, and it is best not to be with your child.
Temper is a kind of passion. Outbursts are instantaneous. After half an hour, people will become rational. It is basically clear what you should do.
Understand, respect and accept children
Children have a strong sense of self since they are two or three years old, and this awareness will only get stronger as they grow older. Your child has some opinions and things that are not in line with your ideas. Don’t blindly oppose him roughly. You might as well pay some attention to the child’s needs, try to think about the problem from the child’s perspective, and respond to the child’s needs.
When the child is emotional, you can hug him first, guide the child to express his thoughts and feelings, understand his heart, and empathize with the child’s feelings
When the injury occurs, parents must remedy it afterwards
No matter how well we speak, when the emotions come up, it is difficult to control it, and it is inevitable that we will yell first before talking. Even if I sometimes feel that I have done something wrong, I can’t help myself to apologize to the child.
In fact, this is wrong. Be sure to tell your children: Mom and Dad are yelling, it’s not your fault, it’s that Mom and Dad didn’t control their emotions. If you have something to say, you should speak carefully.
We cannot be perfect parents, but at least we are willing to be parents who dare to admit mistakes.
The famous American pediatrician Adele Faber once said: “Never underestimate the impact of your words on your child’s life.”
When we can get along with our children calmly and understandingly, you will raise a positive kid, and the children will be able to have peace of mind and be kind.
Can yelling at a child be harmful? To conclude, yelling at kids is not a good way to educate your kids better, in contrast, it may be harmful and cause the negative effects on your beloved children. There’s no parents who don’t love and take care of their kids. Therefore, let’s keep calm and raise your kids with love and proper methods. Kids are sensitive, let’s be an understanding and thoughtful parents!