Hi, I am back! From Part 1 How can I be a calmer mom, I’ve shared with you some tips about Acknowledging that I am responsible for my reactions, banish the excuses, and identifying the triggers that cause my negative feelings and preventing them. In this article today, we will sit down, drink a cup of tea and discuss more about this. So, where were we? Let’s get started now!
4. A Calmer Mom- Own Your Feelings
Your emotions are the final secret of being a calm mother.
Our emotions play an important role in our composure, as described earlier. Really, feelings will mask our composure, if left unchecked. This is why our emotions must be owned.
- Do not individually take the actions of your kids. We encourage others (and circumstances) to control how we feel when our emotions are caught up in what our children do.
- Take your emotions into responsibility. I’m upset by the actions of my kid. These thoughts grew as my brain tried to envision a future about my child visiting prison ten years later. Your kid did not make you exhausted!
- Mark your emotions as it happens, and be specific. Aim to keep free from situations such as pleasure, sorrow, or rage. Render your thoughts descriptive in marking. For eg, I might say I’m sad, upset, or irritated with my child’s cookie, rather than saying I’m mad.
- Evaluate your emotions. Once your emotions have been established, aim to determine them without judgment
- Determine if your emotions should be handled. This is particularly important if we are irritated or frustrated. Never handle the situation as you raise your feelings.
- Let your feelings be truthful. You keep negativity from rising up inside you when you see your emotions as they are and share the truth of your feelings with others.
Our emotions and desires are an integral part of what makes us human. We must own our feelings and keep others from being influenced by our feelings
5. A Calmer Mom- Using The “Stop & Think” Method
To be a calmer mom, the only thing we can do is to avoid times where we get frustrated, but that is not always easy. We must find a way to intervene once we hit the point where we are still frustrated and fear losing our patience. Some time ago, I read about the “stop and think” technique, but I just adopted it recently. And it works well! The principle is very simple: I should only pause and reflect on the situation while I get very upset and risk overreacting to my child’s behavior.
- Does the action of my child still seem that bad or am I just tired and uncomplete?
- If I were more comfortable and cool, what might I do about the same thing?
- What is the explanation for the behavior of my child?
Answering these three questions allows me to understand the situation better and change my response. Often children indulge in negative actions when they feel alienated from us, and they have to relate to us in that way. When I see my son misbehaving because it helps me to see the reason for my actions and help my son deal with his negative feelings.
I still have this in mind. If he comes to terms with his feelings he will change his actions and I will face less difficult parental circumstances.
6. A Calmer Mom – Taking A Break When Be Overwhelmed By My Emotions
I am going to take the rest and wait until I can compose down before I face the problem that caused my rage. At that moment, I feel really frustrated. I guess it’s like a timeout to myself: I say to my son that I need a moment to cool down.
I go back to the situation when I’m calm again and talk about what happened. This makes me stop saying something through my child’s rage or crying.I still try to take a break from my role as a mother on a daily basis and to “me time.” These breaks help me to recharge my energy to become healthier and more playful.
Once again, our kids do not really obey the things that we say, and even certain things that may spark our frustration tend to get out of hand. As we are all human (children as well as parents) recognizing this is possible, it is helpful that you list a further list of deliberate acts that you may take to avoid losing your temper.
You should determine which targeted actions can help you remain calm right then, but list them before those occasions. Hold them on your phone in a note or anywhere you can conveniently relate to when you see red!
I’m not going to be a perfect parent, and neither would you be. Yet I can be the mother that my children need me and I can be proud of too