As a parent, there will always be one question that comes into your head “How to make your child independent?” Yes! Who doesn’t want to raise independent children who are confident to make decisions for their own life? But not all of us know the proper way to get our children to be in that way. Let Jessica help you!
What will you do if your 4-year-old child says that she is thirsty? I bet many moms will get up and get her a drink without hesitation. Similarly, you are ready to clean your kid’s room when it is a mess. To be honest, you are your child’s maid, housekeeper, and also the waitress. But do you know that this is gradually making your kids less independent?
If you keep doing everything for your child without giving them their own responsibility for their life, there will be a day you wake up and realize that even the child is fifteen-year-old then, she doesn’t know how to do the washing up or use the microwave.
If you are about to raise an independent choice who is able to make his own decisions, it’s important for you to give him the freedom to do so. The key to raising independent children lies in striking the balance. As you want your child to be independent, you have to be patient but not too indulgent.
I don’t recommend you should guide your children all steps of the way. By doing so, you are spoiling their ability to make their own choices. Don’t let your child be dependent on you. This can make him resentful and rebellious in the long run.
How to make your child independent?
As parents, we need to set the pace for our children’s independence. Here I have some tips to get you started:
A good balance between structure and freedom is what together fosters your child’s independence. The more you allow the child to think about himself, the more independent he will be.
Create a suitable routine for your child. For example, you can consider some age-appropriate chores for your children so they will be more responsible for household chores in your family. You can:
- Ask your 6-year-old girl to put away her own laundry clothes as well as let her dress on her own in the morning.
- Let your 3-year-old boy choose his snack and get his plate during mealtimes
- Ask your 8-year-old child to place cutlery and his clothes at lower levels, so he can fetch them when you require.
Teach them problem-solving skills
No one doesn’t have a problem in their life. When your children have a problem, allow them to solve it on their own instead of rushing to save them. This helps your children enhance their problem-solving skills. Let them know that a common problem to face at their age is sibling rivalry. And in the future, there are other problems they have to deal with on their own.
Failing is not final
Tell your kids that there is nothing wrong with failure. Even though it may be hard for you to accept that your child is not successful, allow your child to make mistakes. He will learn precious lessons this way.
For example, your child may forget to do his homework and of course, he will have to face the consequences at school. However, it is a common part of the learning process and your child will remember to finish his task next time. Or the kid may spill the milk while fetching his glass. But don’t scold him. Tell him the way to clean up and remind him to be careful so he won’t repeat that mistake.
Your child should know how much you care for him. Let him feel that you are always there for him, no matter what.
As your child will not be happy when you want him to solve his own problems. At those times, gently make him understand that you just want him to deal with conflict by himself, rather than looking for help from others. And though it’s important to encourage your children to be independent, don’t let the kids hurt themselves in the process.
Don’t expect perfection
We all know no one is perfect and after all, your child is just a kid. Try not to criticize them when they don’t meet your expectations. Instead of yelling at your child, you can make things easier by gently showing your children the correct ways to do things. Explain to them that everyone makes mistakes, and no one is perfect.
Keep in mind, positive parenting will benefit you in the journey to bring up your children!
Allow enough time
Your child cannot become independent overnight. You know! Everything takes time. And the kids tend to need more time to complete tasks compared to adults. As parents, you need to give them the time they need to prevent them from becoming stressed.
Give them praise
Like us, the children love to be recognized for the things they do well. Don’t hesitate to give your child praise when they do something on their own, especially what they needed help with before. Even, you can turn mistakes into praise. For example, your child might put their shirt on backward. And you can and acknowledge that they are able to pick out clothes and dress. This will encourage your child when he is so frustrated.
The whole process of being independent may be slow, but it is important for parents to guide their children in every move they make. Try to offer them the tools necessary so they can grow up as successful adults.