When it comes to sibling rivalry, many parents often unwittingly spark the fires that we have to spend days and even years to extinguish. Little do we realize that a strong sibling bond is really meaningful! We sometimes forget that an important part of creating positive, peaceful families and homes is to teach our children to love and honor their siblings
Secrets to a strong sibling bond
Parents sometimes think that comparison is a motivator. We usually believe if we point out how well their brother or sister performs their tasks, our child will try harder to achieve the same status or result. For some kids, this may be effective, but either way, comparison fuels rivalry.
When your comparison doesn’t serve as a motivator, it even has bad effects on your child. Your kid is left feeling inadequate and inferior to his siblings, fostering his feelings of resentment.
If your comparison can motivate the child to set a higher target, it turns into a competition. In other words, it is a fight for who’s better. This, of course, will not cultivate harmony for a strong sibling bond. And the effect is not what we expect.
What’s worse, the sibling who receives the favorable comparison is now also put in a competition to maintain her status.
Who doesn’t feel disappointed when their children can’t meet their expectations? But parents, there are still other ways to deal with the problem. To avoid the pitfall of comparison, tell your child what you’d love to see rather than bringing the other child up in the conversation. For example, you can say “I will be much happier to know that you are working harder at your guitar practice” instead of saying “Why don’t you put in the same effort your brother does?”. It’s one of the most effective methods for you to build a strong sibling bond among your children.
You may concern: Ideal age gap for sibling
Set clear limits
I strongly approve that all children deserve to feel comfortable and safe in their own homes. Home is where you are yourself, where you are celebrated and where you are without fear of ridicule or unacceptance.
And it’s important for all parents to know that unchecked sibling rivalry may make the home feel like anything but a safe place to live.
I dont expect that my kids can get along well all the time. I know it’s hard, as many parents don’t have such a perfect relationship with their own siblings. For sibling disputes, some parents choose to use the peace table to teach their children peaceful resolution skills till their children can confidently tell them that “We can work it our peacefully, Mom”.
When one young brother hits another, you should be patient to get him calm. After that, explain that hitting was unacceptable and ask him what he is going to do to repair the relationship with his siblings. It’s vital to let your children know that each act of aggression or harsh word spoken can break one of the strings connecting their hearts. And of course, that string needs being repaired so that they can keep their relationship strong. Too many broken strings lead to a broken bond. As parents, we should encourage our children to apology their siblings in the form of written notes, kind gestures or words.
Create a team atmosphere
Creating a team chart where your children and do chores together and get them done fasters is another way to raise a closing strong sibling bond among your kids.
In addition, weekly family meetings are also meaningful in creating a team atmosphere. These are chances that give anyone equal opportunity to weigh in on family planning, problems, and solutions.
You should make family time priority because strong, loving relationships with all members in family are important for proper development. Research has shown that when teens spend more time with their parents, they are less likely to have trouble at school.
Please make sure that your children will honor and celebrate each other when we get them involved in some activities like cheering at brother’s ball game, participating the plays her sister is in. In such family meetings, your children will not only know how to speak their appreciations to each other, they also know many other things. The child can help decorate for his sister’s birthday party, encourage her to speak kind, keep a high spirit of building up rather than tearing down each other, etc.
Let your children have significant experiences together
One of the most effective ways to create a connection between people is to share experiences. That’s why family vacations are really important. It is clear that your kids will have special memories they share with their siblings. They will go together from the most wonderful to the bad trips. And what they have is absolutely more than a photo album, they are enhancing their relationships.
Family is forever
Right from their early ages, children should be taught about the value of their own family. If you see that your child ignores her siblings to go all-in with her friends of the moment, you should make every effort to pull them back toward engagement with the family. While friends are wonderful, they might come and go, family is forever. Family relationships are lifelong and deserved to be nurtured by any family member.
Support siblings to nurture each other
Parents should support their children to nurture each other. When one child gets hurt, ask everyone in the family to stop playing and tend to the child who’s sick. Hold back a moment to see if the siblings come to nurture each other or not.
Send a child for the ice pack or bandaids or you can even let them be your medical assistant and tend to their sibling. And you should let all the children join in this, including any child who was involved in getting the other hurt. That makes them feel like a helper instead of a hurter.
I hope what I’ve shared the useful information so you parents can build a strong sibling bond for your children.