Have you ever asked “Are you too strict as a parent? Do you worry that your expectations are too high or the consequences you give your kids are a bit harsh? Below I will mention typical signs that you may be an overly strict parent. Let’s check out what they are.
Signs you are too strict as a parent
1. You make too many rules
According to Nancy Darling, Ph.D., a psychology professor at Oberlin College, you are too strict as a parent when you set so many rules that you can’t even enforce them all.
Though rules are good and necessary when you discipline your children, too many rules can be harmful. It’s better when you keep your rules simple. Only stick to the most important rules that you expect your kids to remember. You can post your list of household rules in any place in your house where you find it convenient to refer to it when needed.
Darling also expressed that it is really important to set fewer rules and be consistent in reinforcing them.
2. You find more fault in them than good
Today, it is common that many parents often find more fault in their children than good. Problem easily appears when most interactions you have with your kids are affected by the correction. Just think how your daughter will feel when they are doing right but you are constantly talking to them about how they’ve failed? Are you too strict as a parent? In this situation, you surely are!
For the best solution, you should start to look for the good in your children and encourage them in that. Be patient and you will stay closer to your child.
If we truly understand our kids – spend time with them, listen to what they share, know who they are, it will be much easier for us to discipline our kids in a productive way.
3. You desire perfection from your children
One of the real issues among young people these days is perfectionism. Young people get pressure on all accounts – social media, friends, parents, teachers, etc.
While some kids can handle it well, some find it too hard. If a child cannot complete many tasks and requirements, they may feel like the world weighs them down.
Everyone makes mistakes at least once in their lives. And you kids are human, just like you. Don’t require perfection from them as this can make your children feel stressed. Instead, try to know your kids by listening to them. Don’t become the place they need to be perfect, be the safe place where they can comfortably go with their feelings, especially when they feel imperfect.
4. You are following a zero-tolerance policy
It cannot be denied that parents should have clear rules when raising their kids. However, we should also recognize that there should be exceptions to the rules. Are you too strict as a parent? Yes! It’s when you follow an authoritarian stance on everything. To make things better, you should show a willingness to evaluate your child’s behavior in the context of the situation.
5. Your child tends to lie a lot
While it’s normal when kids tell lies, research has shown that harsh discipline may turn kids into good liars. It means that if you are an overly strict parent, your children are likely to lie so that they can avoid punishment. If some parents are wondering why a child lies, then it’s because of your strict parenting.
6. Your child has more restrictions than other kids
Don’t think you are wrong when having different rules than other parents when teaching your kids. However, when you are always the strictest parent in the crowd, it means you are setting too high expectations for your children.
7. You have little patience for your child’s silliness
Most kids are easily attracted by silly games and ridiculous jokes. Though these jokes may get old fast, and your children’s behavior may slow you down, you should savor the moment and have fun with your kids.
8. Your child has little time for fun
Are you too strict as a parent? Determine this by questioning if you allow your kids enough time for fun. Many kids with strict parents often have to run from one activity to another with very little break time or playtime. While it’s important for kids to learn some skills, we should let them have free time.
Think about it one more time “Are you too strict as a parent” by looking at some typical signs above. Follow a healthy discipline for the best parent-child relationship!