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Parenting Helps

How To Be Successful At The Parenting Long Game

Parenting is a game that takes a long time to master. You’ve decided to stay in it for the long haul. You can’t change your mind, even though there are moments that you’d like to get a refund or at the very least exchange a kid for a more agreeable one. You must gird your loins, put on a brave face, and cope.

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There has been a lot of focus and resources geared toward teacher well-being in recent years, which is commendable. Teachers aren’t the only ones that require some pampering. Parents who devote a significant portion of their day to looking after, caring for, and thinking about their children must also prioritize their own well-being.

Here are some important parenting tactics to keep you going in the parenting marathon.

Connect to energizing events

Many sports, interests, and friendship groups that bring joy and balance to their lives are sacrificed by parents for their children. When the first child arrives, the traditional scenario of individual first, spouse second is turned on its head. You’re suddenly a parent first, partner second, and individual last.

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In most households, the order is still the same after two or three children and ten years. Many parents do not begin to reclaim their own lives until their children have left home. The advice is straightforward. Keep any aspect of your life that brings you joy and sustenance when you’re actively parenting. Protect it with zeal and, if possible, allow your partner to do the same.

Lead first, manage second

Parenting books abound (including mine, guilty as charged!) urging parents to be better behavior coaches, problem solvers, advocates of children’s mental wellbeing, and more, even at the detriment of leadership abilities.

Managers concentrate on individual children, while leaders focus on the bigger picture, which is the family as a whole. The former is exhausting, while the latter is liberating. Leaders take care of themselves, delegate tasks, and use central techniques such as modeling and teaching.

Aim for redundancy

The most basic duty for parents is to make themselves obsolete, which begins in childhood. It takes time and effort to teach children how to tie their shoes, prepare meals, and care for pets, among other things. When children are capable of looking after themselves, however, it pays off, allowing you to sit back, put your feet up, and relax. 

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Independence, on the other hand, may cause headaches, particularly among teenagers who frequently confuse independence with freedom. Even addressing the sort of anxiety is superior to having kids off the couch because they are too dependent and afraid to leave the house.

Raise the family as if it were a big one

I’m guessing you’re raising a tiny family if you’ve ever worried about the tiniest, most minute specifics of your child’s life. It’s fascinating to see if parents in larger families have different concerns than those in smaller families. Perspective is created by size. When parents express concern about their children, I always ask, “Would you be concerned about this issue if you had six children?”

Ironically, parents of families of four or more children find family life to be much simpler than parents with one or two children, since they are not personally responsible for their children’s achievements, mistakes, or problems.

Conserve energy – argue over issues that matter

Some of the minor issues that parents disagree with their children over include poor clothing choices, wet towels left on the floor, and untidy bedrooms. These small squabbles, unfortunately, exhaust many parents and sour goodwill.

One of the best pieces of parenting advice I’ve ever got was to just fight with kids over problems that mattered to them, such as mistreating a friend, being mean-spirited, or being dishonest.

Avoid using children as benchmarks

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While the desire to keep an eye on another child’s growth, gifts, and character qualities is still present, the measure of your child is not another child. In the short term, comparison may make a parent feel discouraged and dejected, especially if their child is a late bloomer or has strengths and talents that vary from those in the mainstream.

In the long run, a comparison will demoralize a child because they can feel like they cannot measure up. – A child has a different developmental clock and different strengths. You may have to look far and wide to find them, but they are there. Their talents and abilities can require some polishing, which is also a part of the parenting job.

Related: 7 Ways to Support Your Child’s Mental Health

Relationships, relationships, and relationships are the only three things that exist.

The more I’ve been interested in parenting, both personally and professionally, the more I realize that good parenting is focused on developing positive relationships with children based on mutual respect, appreciation, and understanding. Being human entails loving and being loved. Being accepted and valued as a part of a family offers the highest degree of human interaction.

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