We forget that children aren’t born with a natural sense of social respect. Esteem must be instilled in our children.
Consider this: babies are born with the need to exploit their environment in order to get their needs met, and they do so mainly by crying. Crying is a common and appropriate way for babies to express their needs, such as being hungry, wet, or needing to be held.
However, as our children grow older, it is our responsibility as parents to teach them how to communicate their needs in a respectful manner. And weeping, manipulating, and disrespecting others are not respectful ways to do this.
This article will show you six unique ways to teach your children respect while also strengthening your relationship with them. They aren’t easy, but they will assist you in raising respectful children and forming a happy family.
Bear in mind: Your Child Is Not Your Friend
It’s not about whether or not your child likes you or even appreciates what you do. It’s important to keep in mind that your child is not your pal. He’s your boy, after all. It is your responsibility to teach him how to act effectively in the world and to treat others with respect, not just you.
When you think your child is going too far, ask yourself, “Will I let my neighbor say these things to me?” “Would I let a complete stranger in?” If you don’t want to do it, don’t let your child do it either.
When your child reaches adulthood, your relationship will evolve into a friendship. But, for the time being, it’s up to you to be his dad, instructor, coach, and limit setter—not the buddy who lets him get away with things.
Confront Disrespect Early And Often
If at all necessary, confront disrespectful actions as soon as possible. Don’t turn a blind eye if your child is rude or disrespectful. Intervene and say something like:
“In this family, we don’t speak to each other like that.”
Giving consequences to your children while they are younger will pay off in the long run. As a parent, it’s important to admit when your child is being rude and then attempt and correct the situation.
Also, consider the future if your child is approaching adolescence (or another potentially difficult stage). Some parents I know are already thinking about how they’ll deal with their ADD daughter’s actions as she grows older (she’s now 11). They’re honing their skills in order to be ready for the competition.
Parent as a Team
When it comes to your child’s actions, it’s beneficial for you and your co-parent to be on the same page. Make sure that one of you is not enabling the disrespectful conduct to continue when the other is attempting to intervene. Sit down with your child and discuss your laws, and then devise a course of action—along with a list of possible consequences—if your child violates them.
Teach Your Child Basic Social Interaction Skills
It may sound old-fashioned, but teaching your child basic manners such as saying “please” and “thank you” is crucial. It will go a long way when your child works with her teachers in school or gets her first job and has these skills to fall back on.
Recognize that using good manners—even if it’s just a basic “excuse me” or “thank you”—is a form of empathy. It teaches your children to value others and to recognize their influence on others. Disrespectful behavior is the polar opposite of empathy and good etiquette when you think about it.
Be Respectful When You Correct Your Child
Correct your child in a polite way when they are being disrespectful. It’s not helpful to yell and get angry, or to have your own attitude in response to theirs. Getting enraged only encourages them to continue their disrespectful conduct. It’s true that it’s difficult to be a successful instructor if you allow their disrespectful actions to influence you.
Instead, you should take your child aside and clearly communicate what is and is not appropriate. You don’t have to yell at them or humiliate them.
This was a parenting trait that one of our friends excelled at. He’d take his kids aside and say something softly (I’d never guess what it was), and it’d instantly change their conduct.
Set Realistic Expectations for Your Child’s Behavior
You can need to lower your standards if you are honest about your child’s behavior patterns. If your children dislike riding in the car, don’t schedule a long road trip with them. If your child struggles in large crowds and you schedule an event for 30 people, you’re setting everyone up for disappointment and, more than likely, a battle.
Setting limits ahead of time is often beneficial. If you’re going out to dinner, for example, be transparent with your children about your expectations. Clear expectations will aid the child’s behavior as well as make them feel safer in certain respects.
Don’t take your child’s behavior too seriously.
Taking their child’s actions personally is one of the most common mistakes parents make. The fact is that you can never fall into that pit because your neighbor’s teen is doing the same thing to his parents. And your cousin’s daughter is abusing her parents in the same way. Every child has disagreements with their parents. Your job is to be as rational as possible when dealing with your child’s actions.
When parents don’t know how to cope with these situations effectively, they can feel powerless and fearful. As a consequence, they frequently overreact to situations or underreact to situations.
Understand your children’s behaviors if you haven’t been able to intervene with your children early, you should do so now. Even if your child is continually acting disrespectfully, you should start stepping in and establishing clear boundaries.
Even if they complain, children still do want boundaries. And they’ll be outraged! When you step in and set boundaries, they get the message that you care for them, that you respect them, and that you really want them to succeed and work well in the world. Our children will not thank us now, but that’s well. It isn’t about getting them to thank us; it is about doing what is right.