How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child
Parenting Helps

How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

You have a duty as a parent to help your child grow his intellect. Of course, this refers to academic intelligence, but it isn’t the only kind of intelligence that counts.


Emotional intelligence is described as a person’s ability to properly communicate and control emotions while also respecting the feelings of others. It is a collection of skills that can be learned by children at any age.

Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence has been linked to a slew of advantages that will support your child for the rest of her life, according to research conducted over the last few decades. Here are a few examples of how emotional intelligence can help you:

  • A high EQ correlates with a high IQ. On standardized tests, children with higher levels of emotional intelligence perform better. They also have a higher grade point average.
  • Improved interpersonal relationships. Emotional intelligence skills aid in the management of conflict and the development of deeper friendships in children. Adults who have high levels of emotional intelligence have stronger personal and professional relationships.
  • Childhood EQ has been related to adulthood progress. According to a 19-year study published in the American Journal of Public Health, a child’s social and emotional skills in kindergarten will predict their long-term success. Children who could share, collaborate, and obey orders at the age of five were more likely to complete high school and begin working full-time jobs by the age of 25.
  • Mental wellbeing has improved. Depression and other mental disorders are less common in people who have higher levels of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence has a lot of advantages. A child who can control their emotions when they are upset is more likely to succeed in difficult situations. And a child who can show their feelings in a positive way is more likely to have healthier relationships than one who cries or says hurtful things when upset.

The good news is that all children will develop emotional intelligence skills. Adults must simply show them how to do so.

1. Make a list of your child’s emotions.

Children must be able to understand their emotions. You can assist your child by naming her emotions—at least the emotion you believe she is experiencing.

When your child is upset because he or she has lost a game, you might tell, “It seems that you are really angry right now.” “Is that correct?” If they are sad, you might ask, “Are you upset that we won’t be visiting Grandma and Grandpa today?”

Emotional terms like “angry,” “upset,” “shy,” and “painful” will all help you articulate your feelings. Don’t forget to include terms like “joy,” “excited,” “thrilled,” and “hopeful” in your vocabulary.

2. Exhibit Empathy

It’s tempting to downplay your child’s feelings when he or she is upset, particularly if their emotions are overly dramatic. Dismissive remarks, on the other hand, will show your child that their feelings are incorrect.

Even if you don’t understand why they’re angry, it’s best to affirm their emotions and display empathy. If your child is crying because you told them they couldn’t go to the park until they cleaned their room, tell them, “I get upset when I don’t get to do what I want.” When I don’t want to work, it’s difficult to keep going.”

When your child knows that you understand how they’re feeling on the inside, they’ll feel less motivated to show you by their actions how they’re feeling. So, rather than yell and whine to show you that they’re frustrated, they’ll feel better if you make it clear that you’re aware of their distress.

3. Demonstrate Appropriate Expression of Feelings

Children must learn how to communicate their feelings in a socially acceptable manner. So, while saying, “My feelings are hurt,” or drawing a sad face might be helpful, yelling and throwing stuff isn’t.

Feeling terms should be used in daily speech, and you should practice learning about them. Say stuff like, “I get angry when I see kids on the playground being rude,” or “I get excited when our friends come over for dinner.”

Emotionally intelligent parents are more likely to have emotionally intelligent children, according to studies. As a result, make it a practice to concentrate on improving your skills so that you can be a good role model for your kids.

You may concern: 8 Tips To Raise A Polite Child

4. Encourage the development of healthy coping mechanisms.

After children have a better understanding of their feelings, they must learn how to cope with them in a healthy manner. For small children, knowing how to relax, cheer themselves up, or face their fears may be difficult.

Specific skills should be taught. When your child is upset, for example, teaching them how to take a few deep breaths will help them calm down. Asking them to take “bubble breaths,” in which they breathe in through their nose and blow out through their mouth as if blowing through a bubble wand, is a kid-friendly way to teach this.

You may also assist your child in creating a package to help them manage their emotions. A coloring book, a favorite joke book, relaxing music, and scented lotions are only a few of the things that can help them engage their senses while also calming their emotions. Place the products in a unique box that they can personalize. Then, if they’re angry, remind them to go get their calm down kit and practice managing their feelings with it.

5. Improve problem-solving abilities

Learning how to solve problems is an essential part of developing emotional intelligence. It’s time to figure out how to resolve the issue after the emotions have been labeled and answered.

Perhaps your child is irritated by their sister’s constant interruptions as they play video games. Assist them in identifying at least five possible solutions to the problem. It is not necessary for solutions to be good ideas. The initial aim is to simply brainstorm ideas.

Work about what should have been done better and what your child should do to fix any remaining problems when your child makes a mistake. Rather than being the problem-solver, try to serve as a mentor. When required, provide guidance, but work to help your child see that they are capable of solving issues safely and successfully on their own.

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